


Violets

by edensgay (buckybarfs)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Her and Joey are GAY, Her name is Maddy-Ann, Homophobia, LESBIANS????, Lesbians!, OFC Deputy!, She is my baby and I love her, far cry typical violence, hella sad incoming, nsfw in chapter 3, this is gay!, this will be updated out of order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-06-07 03:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15209657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarfs/pseuds/edensgay
Summary: Maddy saw her life with Joey flash before her eyes, what they could have had. Their honeymoon in Greece, finally knocking down the kitchen wall, repainting the second bedroom a happy yellow as they awaited the agency to get back to them, the sound of laughter as arthritis filled fingers exchanged playing cards in a sterile building that smelled like oatmeal. The life they could have lived, the life where they fulfilled their vows and lived the remainder of their lives happy and in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just the beginning of Joey and Madeline! This is mostly establishing who Joey is as a person. I’m so excited about this, y’all! The Deputy isn’t yet the Deptuy in this fic, but she will be.

It’s no secret that being gay in a small town is difficult. There’s maybe only two thousand people in all of Hope County, and that’s being  _generous_. Joey Hudson grew up in Falls End, which had a grand total of about forty-five in it’s entirety, again, being _generous_.

Joey’s thirteen when she first realizes that being gay is  _even an option_. She’d grown up a bit sheltered, although it wasn’t purposeful. That’s just how it was in rural Montana, they were a little behind the times and it wasn’t something people talked about.

It’s October of 1998 and her families small television is on a random news channel, the two people on the screen are arguing about a boy who was the suspected victim of a hate crime in Wyoming. Her father is grumbling incomprehensible nonsense at the television. Her mother shakes her head and turns it off before heading into the kitchen to cook dinner.

Joey doesn’t know what a hate crime is. She asks her mom about it and her mom tells her that it’s when someone hurts someone because of a prejudice.   
All her friends are boy crazy, at least that’s what her mother says. She says that she raised Joey with a good head on her shoulders and that’s why she isn’t buying into the boy craze like all her friends. Her father says he’s glad because if any boy came near his precious daughter he’d have to put the fear of God into them.

Her friends are going over a copy of  _Dolly_ , reading about  _The 99 Hottest Guys to Watch in 99_. She agrees without enthusiasm when one of her friends tears out a picture of Prince William and says she’s going to marry him. When two of her friends start arguing over who the hottest member of the new band N’Sync is she sides with one of them at random.

When she’s fifteen she has her first kiss, one of her friends is going on a date with a senior boy and wants practice. When Joey’s lips meet her friends for a few clumsy seconds she feels a puzzle piece slip into place and all of a sudden it makes sense.

Joey is gay.

Her father is sick, her mother says it’s lung cancer.  The doctors give him eight months at the most, Joey is a few months shy of sixteen when she’s told her father will die.

In 2001 Joey realizes how fleeting life can be. The world changes forever when the towers fall from the sky, the world gets a painful reminder that nothing is forever. She watches as her mother calls Joey’s grandmother for the first time in almost seventeen years. Her mother’s hands shake as she dials the number and makes amends, life is too short to hold grudges.

It’s in that moment Joey makes a choice. 

“Momma, I’m gay.” She blurts out, her voice feeling too loud in the suddenly deafening silence of the house. It’s the first time she’s said it out loud and she feels a weight lifted from her chest.

Her mother blinks at her, her eyes owlish as if she isn’t certain that she heard Joey right and is trying to process it. 

“I’m gay.” Joey repeats, her voice is stronger now.

Her mother nods slowly. “Okay.”

Joey’s heart soars, for a split second her world seems brighter. Her secret is out and it feels fucking incredible.

“Don’t tell your father.”

Her heart sinks.

“This’ll only worsen his condition.”

Joey can’t stomach the thought of lying to her dying father, but she doesn’t want to make things worse. She nods her head and agrees to do as her mother has asked.

The idea of her being gay somehow making her father sicker puts a heavy burden on her. She watches everything she says and tiptoes around the man she’d once been close to. When she was little he would pick her up and play airplane with her. When she got older he took her hunting with him, teaching her everything he knew.

Her father dies two months later and Joey can’t help but feel guilty knowing that he died without knowing his daughter. She feels even more guilty that shes secretly relieved, she no longer has to walk on her toes at home.

Her mother has asked her a few times if she’s sure this isn’t a phase. She points out that Joey hasn’t even tried dating a boy yet so how can she really be sure? Their whispered conversations instill a sense of shame in Joey.

Joey promises to try, because her mother is all that she has left in the world.

She’s asked to prom by a boy named David. She wants to say no but she doesn’t because she can’t get the image of her mothers smiling face asking her to  _please just try_  out of her head. She allows him to take her to prom, she allows her mother to squeal over how cute the two of them are together and take pictures. She even allows him to stick his tongue down her throat, because she has to try.

After that Joey knows it isn’t a phase.

Her mother doesn’t ask about the boy after prom. They don’t talk about it but her mother  _knows_.

It’s 2003, she’s almost eighteen now and she has to make a decision, she has to grow up.

Her and her mother are having breakfast at a local diner to celebrate her birthday. A rejected half melted candle sits on the edge of her plate of pancakes.

Her mother asks if Joey’s put in anymore thought about her future. She hasn’t.

In the diner a boy who she vaguely recognizes as a kid two years below her is eating alone at the breakfast bar. She knows of the kid, she’s heard the rumors. Joey’s never been one to care about rumors, but now that she’s graduating in two weeks she cares even less. 

Further down sits Sheriff Whitehorse, sits a few stools down. He’s already on his second cup of burnt coffee.

Her mother reaches into her purse and hands her a wrapped rectangle with a smushed blue bow. She opens it slowly, trying to avoid making a loud noise as she tears the paper. It’s a book entitled  _If not, winter_. She stares at it for a minute, trying to understand.

“Open it.” Her mothers encouraging voice says in a soft tone, as if she doesn’t want anyone else to hear.

She opens the book and flicks through a few pages, her eyes land on the word lesbian and widen into saucers. Her mother meets her deer in the headlights look with a soft smile, her mother accepts her.

The fact that her mother has done this small gesture brings tears to her eyes, she’d been okay with her mom knowing and not having anything to say. But to have her mom’s full support makes a warmth spread through her chest.  
_Her mother accepts her._

A group of boys who will walk the stage with her in a few weeks enter the dinner, their laughter is deafening in the quiet of the diner. The bell above the door jingles proudly, signalling their arrival. The group of boys snag a booth, shoving each other as they all squirm into the worn seats.

At the sound Joey snaps the book shut and sits it on her lap, terrified of anyone knowing it’s contents. It’s her secret and she must keep it,  _she has to_.

One of them notices the kid at the breakfast bar and his eyebrows raise, the group takes on an uncharacteristic silence as they whisper to themselves and look in the kids direction. Joey can feel the trouble coming, the boys exude mayhem. She sends a thank you to God that the Sheriff is there.

The Sheriff gets up and goes to the bathroom. 

So it begins.

The boys shove one of their friends from the booth, laughing like excited children as they watch him approach the kid.

“Hey, Chris,” The senior says, pretending to be nervous. He shuffles his feet and plays with his hair in over exaggerated motions.

The kid, Chris, glances over his shoulder and mumbles something in acknowledgment.

“Well, I was wondering… If maybe you wanted to go behind the bleachers and make out?” The senior can hardly keep a straight face as he asks, his face growing red from trying to hold back his laughter.

Chris lets out a small sigh and gets up, leaving a few bucks on the counter for his half eaten breakfast. He makes for the door but isn’t allowed to leave.

“Michael, please leave me alone.” Chris says, a desperate note in his voice.

Michael laughs, glancing over at his friends for encouragement. “What’s wrong  _queer_ -boy?” 

Joey flinches at the word as if he’d directed it at her. Her knuckles are white from how tight she’s gripping her fork. She should do something, she knows she should but she doesn’t.  _Joey is a coward_.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when she feels a gentle hand wrap around hers, she glances at her mom and sees the sympathetic look on her face. Her heart twists.

Her mother is asking her not to get involved, because she knows that if she did the same fate would befall her. 

Michael jabs a finger into the younger boys boney chest. “Am I not your type?” It isn’t a friendly question, or even a joking one. His words are like razors, the boy flinching as the words cut into him.

Chris ducks under Michael and runs for the door, causing the group of teenage boys to let out loud whoops as they abandon their table. The chase is now on.  
He doesn’t make it two feet away from the entrance before he’s tackled to the ground. The older boys all gathered around him, shouting slurs as they gleefully landed kicks on him.

Those same words mar the metal of the boys locker, forcing him to wear his shame like a scarlet letter. It shouldn’t be shameful, but it is.

With each word and each kick Joey flinches, had she not been so careful that could just as easily be her. But it isn’t, it’s someone else and she’s standing passive-watching it happen.

When she sees red on the sidewalk she finally gets the courage to stand, but she’s interrupted by a low voice behind her before she exits the booth.

“Tha hell?” It’s the Sheriff and he’s staring at the spectacle with a confused look on his face.

It takes him a second but he’s out the door in a flash, yelling and scaring the bullies off. Chris lay curled up in a ball, his face isn’t visible but the small puddle of blood seems to be trickling from somewhere around there.

Sheriff Whitehorse gently brings the kid to his feet and helps him back into the diner. “Donna, grab me some napkins and a bag of ice, please.” He asks the waitress as he sets the kid into a booth.

The Sheriff starts analyzing the kids wounds as he waits for the napkins and ice. Chris is swaying in his seat as if he’s about to pass out. Joey’s a coward, she could have stopped them.

When she sees the Sheriff start cleaning the kids wounds she realizes she doesn’t want to be a coward.

“I’m gonna apply at the Sheriff’s Office, momma.” 

She walks the stage two weeks later, and as soon as the ceremony is over she heads to the Sheriff’s Office.

She will help people, she refuses to live the rest of her life as a coward.

It’s 2004 when she completes her training and becomes a Junior Deputy. The first thing she does is work a Sheriff’s Office booth at the Testy Festy. She hands out stickers to the kids while they stand bored as their parents complain to Whitehorse or thank him for all that he’s done.

One of the kids accepts the badge shaped sticker and immediately sticks it onto his shirt, wearing it with pride. He swears that one day he’s going to become a Deputy just like her. Her heart swells as she pats little Staci Pratt on the shoulder and sends him on his way.

She gets her first tattoo in 2008, it is above her heart and says ‘ _It is what you love_ ’ in flowing script. Under it is a violet, it’s long stem underlining the words. The artist doesn’t question it, instead he says it’s a pretty idea.

Her mother has happy tears in her eyes when she shows her. After all these years her mothers support brings her to tears.

In 2011 Staci Pratt becomes the newest Junior Deputy.

Joey is twenty-six now and has never told anyone but her mother about her secret. She has never had a boyfriend as hasn’t kissed anyone since she was seventeen. Earlier in the year an attempt to repeal the law prohibiting sodomy, failed. In the state of Montana same-gender sex was still considered sodomy.

Joey Hudson was a Deputy at the Hope County Sheriff’s Office in Montana. Her job was to uphold the law and she was gay, in Montana being gay was a crime. 

The department throws a small birthday party for Sheriff Whitehorse, it’s held at Joey’s house. It’s the first time she’s let any of her co-workers into her house, she’s nervous that they might uncover some of her secrets.

As her guests walk through her house they analyze everything, Joey is reclusive and none of them know much about her. They greedily drink in every item on her shelves in an attempt to uncover her secrets.

Nancy points out that she must really love poetry, considering the sheer volume of prose that litters her shelves. Joey is uncomfortable and quickly changes the subject by offering everyone beer.

Her secret is safe.

It’s mid 2012 when it’s not safe. She has just arrested Sharky Boshaw for setting off illegal fireworks. He keeps making passes at her and jokingly- or at least she hopes it’s jokingly- offering up his body for a lighter sentence.

When she doesn’t so much as flinch or acknowledge his words he says “Are you a lesbian or something? ‘Cause the Boshaw charm always works.”

He must see it in her face, the instant panic that fills her eyes as her body stiffens with dread. 

His eyes soften and he goes “Just kiddin. Though I ain’t got no problem with it, Dep.” He gives her a soft smile and a cheeky wink as she tucks him into the back of her cruiser.

Sharky maintains an uncharacteristic silence as they head back to the Sheriff’s Office.

In 2013 she is at the Spread Eagle, drinking with Pratt. They’re celebrating his twenty-first birthday with a few of their other work friends. A bar fight breaks out and it leaves a man bleeding on the floor. 

He’s groaning to himself and fighting off Pratt who had tried to help him. The drunk on the floor goes by Ace, though his birth name is Floyd. He frequents the drunk tank, sleeping there like it’s his second home. Every time he sees Joey he grabs her ass, Staci is pinning him down and keeping him as far away from her as he can.

The other man is being held back by Joey, though he’s still swearing at the bleeding man. It’s a typical Saturday night, there are never any charges pressed, it’s just what happens in a small town.

“I’m fine, get off me, Joey.” He’ll be in the drunk tank tomorrow.

His name is Lonnie, they are on a first name basis. 

Someone must have called emergency services because there’s EMT’s walking through the door, they’re a little late but considering the only hospital in the area is thirty minutes away it’s forgivable. 

Joey walks back over to Pratt and sighs, bumping his shoulder with hers. Their life exists only in this cycle, Hope County is too small for anything exciting to ever happen. Sometimes she thinks about escaping and moving somewhere with bright lights and more than one or two paved roads. 

Her mother thinks it would be good for her, maybe if she moved somewhere like California she could fall in love. Her mom has become almost suffocatingly supportive, she loves it. She has small potted violets all over her house, gifts from her mother, cultivated with love.

Sometimes Joey entertains the idea, but she knows she will never move.  
The drunk on the floor squirms as the EMT’s try to stop the bleeding and take care of him, his arms flail about causing the two medics to let out low swears. One of them groans as she stumbles away from the man, one of his flailing limbs had connected with her eye.

Joey immediately goes to help. She was in work mode, all hopes of having a good night forgotten. Mary May gives Joey a sympathetic look as she hands her a bag of ice and a beer. 

The beer is a reminder that Joey is a person outside of being a Deputy, it’s a reminder she needs.

“Here.” She says, offering the girl the bag.

The EMT looks up at her, squinting as she tries to figure out who Joey is. “Thanks.” She mumbles, accepting the ice with a grimace.

The two sit in awkward silence for a minute before Joey speaks up. “Do you want to press charges?”

The girl cocks her head and thinks for a minute before shaking her head. “Nah, it happens. Beats getting stuck with a needle that was just in someone else.” 

Joey can’t help but look at the girls hair, the white streak standing out against the rest of her curly brown locks catching her eye. She makes eye contact with the girl and realizes that the girl had caught her staring, her face heats up as she looks anywhere but at the girls face. A few drops of blood on the girls pristine white shirt catch her eye.

“It’s called poliosis, my mom and grandma have it too.” She’s gotten the looks many times, she knew what they meant and had rehearsed her response since she was four.

When she was little her mom got phone calls every year from her schools, asking her to please not dye her child’s hair. She’d sigh and tell them she hadn’t dyed it and that she wasn’t going to dye it to match the rest of her hair.

Joey nodded, taking a sip of her beer to quell the embarrassment that was blooming in her chest.

“I’m Joey, I’m a Deputy for Hope County.” She said, giving the girl a tight smile.

“I figured you were law enforcement when you asked if I wanted to press charges.” The EMT grumbles, wincing as she rolls her eyes. 

Joey’s face falls a little.

“I’m Madeline. I just moved here a week ago.” The girl gave her an apologetic smile.

That explained it, in a place as small as Hope County everyone knew everyone. She’d definitely remember seeing someone as pretty as Madeline.

 _‘That was gay, Joey.’_ Her brain hums.

“Want a beer?” She asked, immediately cursing herself.

The girls brown eyes widened before settling into another squint. “Sadly I’m on the clock for another twenty hours." 

Joey nodded, fiddling with the label on her beer. She didn’t know why she’d asked, it was obvious that she was still working.

“So, uh, you get stabbed a lot?” Why did she ask that? Was it possible for her to not be stupid for five minutes?

The girl, Madeline, giggles. “It’s shocking how many people resist when you’re trying to save their life.” 

Okay, maybe, her stupidity wasn’t that bad. Madeline’s giggle was like music to her ears; she hadn’t been to church in years but the sudden presence of an angel in front of her made her wonder if she should go back.

Joey snorts and shakes her head. “Trust me, I have some stories of my own.” She takes a sip of the beer and remembers the few wild things that have happened over the last nine years.

“Yeah? Maybe we should have some drinks sometime and talk about the dangers of being good people.” 

She splutters at the invitation, beer dribbling down her chin as she tries to process what Madeline had said. Was she asking her on a date? Was Madeline gay? Had Joey finally met another woman who liked women? She could sing she was so excited.

“I could use some friends.” Madeline said, quickly correcting herself. 

The small glimmer of hope she’d felt when she thought Madeline could be gay was quickly crushed. Joey’s heart clenched a little but she smiled nonetheless. “Sure, that’d be fun.” 

“Ready to head out?” Madeline’s partner asks, saving Joey from having to stumble through anymore conversation.

Madeline nods, pulling the now half melted bag of ice away from her eye. “See you around, Joey.” 

As she walks away Joey notices something on her arm poking out from under her sleeve, the dark ink contrasting with the pristine white of her shirt. The tattoo looked suspiciously like a bust of Sappho, one that sat on a shelf at Joey’s home. Maybe Madeline was into women, or it could be that she just really liked poetry. Joey hoped it was the former.

Joey and Staci stay for a few more hours, during that time Staci ends up having more alcohol than he can handle. By the end of the night he’s standing on a table belting out the words to Jolene. 

She ends up half carrying him out to her car so she can drive him home. He’s mumbling mostly incoherent things but as she tucks him into the front seat and is buckling him up one thing he says stands out.

“That EMT girl was  _cute_.” He slurs his words but due to Joey’s own curiosity about the girl she picks them out with ease.

“Let’s get you home.” She says in response.

He grabs her arm before she pulls away, he stares at her through a fog but there’s an intensity in his gaze. “Y’know I love you no matter what right?” He mumbles before dropping her arm.

Joey pauses, wondering if Pratt knows too, and the idea doesn’t bother her. The realization floors her.

He’d been like a little brother to her for the past few years, ever since he was sixteen he’d started showing up at the office and helping out with whatever he could. He’d done a bunch of volunteer work with the department and as soon as he turned eighteen he’d applied. Joey had been his mentor and the two had reached family levels of closeness.

A week later Joey and Staci are having lunch in the same diner where Joey had realized what she wanted to do with her life. The place holds a special spot in her heart.

“Hey!  _EMT girl_!” Pratt shouts, Joey’s head immediately swivels around to look at the door where a confused looking Madeline is squinting as she tries to figure out who Staci is.

Her eye has a faint bruise around it, but it isn’t swollen. The slight discoloration is the only thing that proves that last week actually happened. Joey had begun to worry that the angel that invaded her thoughts was a figment of her imagination.

She’s in casual clothing now, a green cardigan with light blue jeans and cowboy boots. Joey decides that casual is a good look on her. She wonders why she cares so much about what she’s wearing and her brain tells her that it’s because she thinks Madeline is cute. 

“Hey?” ‘EMT Girl’ as Staci had called her, looks completely lost, Joey feels a bad for her.

Madeline takes her eyes off of Staci and looks at Joey, her eyes immediately lighting up with recognition. “Hey!” She says smiling at both of them as Staci waves her over.

As she approaches Joey notices that Staci is suddenly taking up his entire side of the booth, spreading out as much as he can. “Sit with us!” He says, her only option being beside Joey.

Madeline looks at Joey, asking for permission before sliding into the seat as soon as Joey scoots over to make room. 

Joey mouths ‘bastard’ at Staci when Madeline isn’t looking, he smirks in response.

“What’s your name again?” Staci asks, tilting his head innocently at her. 

Joey knows that Staci knows Madeline’s name, because he’s been mentioning her to Joey nonstop for the last week. Joey acts like she doesn’t care but every time Staci mentions the girl her heart jumps a little bit.

“Madeline Reese.” She gave him a sheepish smile, “I don’t remember your name either.”

“Staci Pratt.” 

The waitress comes over and takes Madeline’s order which is just a grilled cheese with fries and a cup of coffee. Staci and Joey have a conversation with their eyes, Joey is giving Staci a warning look while he waggles his eyebrows at her. 

The three make casual conversation, the entire time Staci is asking Madeline personal questions and sending looks to Joey when he thinks Madeline isn’t looking. Joey is certain that Madeline has noticed because Pratt refused to be subtle.

After they’re done with their food Pratt gets up to go to the bathroom, leaving Madeline and Joey alone. Once he leaves Joey realizes he was being her wingman, or at least trying to. Considering that she’d never actually come out to him and that neither of them were sure if Madeline was into women he’d done his best.

The two sit in silence until Madeline speaks up. 

“He’s cute.” She says awkwardly and Joey’s stomach sinks. Madeline chuckles and shakes her head as she stares in the direction of the bathroom.

“Straight people really don’t know how to act, huh?” She follows up, her voice low as she turns to look at Joey. She has a cheeky smile on her face as she looks over the woman beside her.

“What?” Joey splutters in response. She’s not denying it but part of her thinks that she hallucinated Madeline saying that because she can’t believe the girl she hasn’t been able to get off of her mind for the last week isn’t straight.

Madeline looks uncertain for a minute. “They always try to get the few gay people they know together.” She explained, there’s a look of fear in her eyes as she stares at Joey.

Joey stares blankly in response, still unable to comprehend that the beautiful woman beside her likes women. 

“Shit, you’re not? Fuck. I’m so sorry, dude. I didn’t mean anything by it-” She starts backtracking, she looks genuinely scared now as she edges her way out of the booth.

“No!” Joey answers, her voice high pitched and strained as she forces herself to do something, to say anything. 

Madeline pauses, halfway out of the booth, still looking like she’s going to run.   
“I am.” Joey admits. The relief in the air is palpable, as the two grin at each other like morons. That’s how Staci finds them when he comes back from the bathroom, if he had taken his sweet time time washing his hands and fixing his hair well, who cared. 

“Do you wanna grab coffee sometime?” Madeline asks, ignoring the fact that Staci has slid back into his seat and is watching them with a shit eating grin.

Joey’s heart flutters. “I’d love to.” She has a date, her first since she was a teenager.

“Great! Here, I’ll give you my number.” Madeline pulls a pen out of the pocket of her cardigan and writes down her number in loopy numbers, Joey notes the way her sevens have lines through them. She writes hers the same way.

“I’ll call you.” Joey promises, beaming dumbly as she shoves the napkin in her pocket, taking care to make sure it’s safe.

Madeline nods eagerly before saying goodbye. Joey watches in awe as she leaves, she doesn’t look away from the door until Staci clears his throat.

“ _You’re welcome_.” He says. He looks like the cat that ate the canary, causing Joey to lean across the table and smack his arm.

“Shut up.” She grumbles, but she doesn’t mean it. She’s on cloud nine thinking about her future date with Madeline.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staci throws a barbecue to impress the newest Deputy, Joey and Maddy do a little meddling and Whitehorse shotguns a beer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I borrowed Carson from @goodcookin on tumblr! I love her and Staci's relationship so much I had to take a crack at it.

Staci Pratt had a tradition, well sort of. See, sometimes he threw barbecues because he had a cabin with a big yard perfect for parties. They were few and far in between and it usually took a few days of coaxing to get him to throw one. Most often they threw barbecues for birthdays, though they’d had one for Maddy and Joey’s wedding reception.  
  
Carson Cook was Hope County’s newest Deputy. She’d been there for almost three months now and it had been three months of watching Staci flounder and fail at wooing her. Every time he saw her his face grew hot and his palms sweaty, Joey’s new favorite past time was getting them in a room together, settling down in the corner with her sunflower seeds and watching it all unfold.   
  
When he’d come to Joey and said he thought he might have a slight crush on the newest Deputy she’d sighed and told him she already knew and to leave it to her. Staci had become a nervous wreck after hearing that, he wasn’t sure what he was leaving to Joey but later that day when he saw her and Maddy giggling by the water cooler he knew he was in for it.  
  
“Pratt, y’know what I just realized?” Maddy spoke up, leaning back in her rolling chair with her feet on Joey’s lap beside her.   
  
They sat in the conference room and waited for the meeting to start, Whitehorse was late as per usual because he’d ran to grab them coffee before it started. Leaving the four Deputies to twiddle their thumbs as they waited for his return. On one side of the table sat Joey and Madeline, the other Carson and Staci.   
  
Staci risked a glance to his right, his nerves already on high alert at the sudden conversation, Carson was staring at the wall, her eyes glazed over as she waited for time to pass. “What?” He had a sinking feeling that he was walking right into a trap.   
  
“You never threw Cook one of your traditional ‘Welcome to the Squad’ barbecues.” She was grinning at him like a shark, her eyes gleaming predatorily as she set up the trap.  
  
Joey shot Maddy a look that said ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ before it hit her and she got a similar look on her face. She turned to Pratt, watching him squirm as she spoke up. “Huh, I guess we’ve just been so busy with the Peggies lately that he forgot.” She’d slid the bait into the trap, now it was time to wait and see if the newest Deputy took it.  
  
Carson had perked up at the mention of her name, shooting Maddy and Joey a suspicious look over the table before her brown eyes ended up on the man beside her. He looked like he was about to sweat to death in his uniform. “Barbeque?” The word rolled off her tongue as she took the bait.   
  
“Oh, they’re the _best_.” Maddy enthused, waving her hands for emphasis. When Carson looked away she shot Staci a look, telling him to get the ball rolling because if she had to he would not like it.  
  
“What’re you doing this weekend?” His voice came out squeaky, as he looked almost wild eyed at the brunette beside him.   
  
“Going to a barbecue, I guess.”   
  
Whitehorse chose that moment to walk in, distributing their coffee oblivious to the suffocating awkwardness that Pratt was exuding into the room. Right as he was handing Joey her coffee he seemed to catch on, looking around the room through squinted eyes as he tried to figure out what shenanigans his kids had gotten up to in the ten minutes it had taken him to go to the coffee place.    
  
“What’s goin’ on in here?” His voice was thick with suspicion as he looked at Joey and Maddy in particular, the pair looking pleased as punch at whatever they’d done. Those two were trouble makers together and judging by the look on Pratt’s face they were up to something.  
  
“Pratt’s throwing me one of his traditional ‘Welcome to the Squad’ barbeques this weekend.” Carson put extra emphasis on traditional, her eyes lighting up with mischief as she spoke. Something told Pratt that while she wasn’t in on the gig she knew more than she was letting on.  
  
Those words meant nothing to him. “Traditional wha-” Joey panicked and cut the Sheriff off by doing the only thing she could think to do, shove Maddy’s legs off of her lap and force her fiancée to fall into a heap on the floor.  
  
“There was a spider.” Was her only explanation.   
  
Maddy stood up, brushing herself off as she nodded vigorously. “Big spider.” While the attention was on Maddy, Joey sent Whitehorse a look that said not to pry anymore and with that the meeting started.  
  
He was a nervous wreck by the time the weekend rolled around, he’d cleaned his small home at least three times, making sure there was not one pair of dirty boxers in sight and that all his take out trash was gone. Maddy and Joey had come over early to help him set up and quell his nerves.  
  
They’d brought the barbecue out from under its tarp, a fresh bag of charcoal sitting on top of it. Joey and Maddy had brought their ridiculous american flag printed beer pong table. Madeline had made a shit ton of brownies and fried twinkies, which for some god forsaken reason actually sounded good. Joey had brought three disposable trays, two with different pasta salads and one with some kind of slaw. They may also be the ones to take credit for the three cases of beer now filling up the makeshift cooler, a wheelbarrow filled with ice.  
  
Usually he never bothered to cook for these things, insisting that since he was kind enough to give up his house that he shouldn’t. But today was different, he’d actually contributed some food, having made cornbread and biscuits. Once Joey and Maddy had seen them they’d both realized how fucking bad Staci had it for Carson, Maddy had promptly went back home to grab some more stuff to make sure the night was perfect.  
  
She came back with one sign that said ‘Party is in the back, unless your a cop, then there’s no party’, two watermelons, and full bottles of tequila and triple sec. The irony of the sign was not lost on her, neither was the egregious grammatical error. Nancy had made it one year for Christmas during her pinterest phase.

  
One of the watermelons gave into it’s fate and ended up sliced and slathered in alcohol and some sugar water mixture, before it was stuck in the freezer to make some kind of deconstructed watermelon margarita popsicles. The other watermelon was set aside to possibly be the food watermelon or the party watermelon. It depended on how drunk Pratt got.  
  
He buzzed around, running around so much he knew his legs would be sore tomorrow. Joey and Maddy sat on the porch, sharing the swing that had been in disrepair until Joey fixed it for completely selfish reasons of course-, watching as he ran circles around the property.   
  
He’d raked the backyard for once in his life, all the leaves in a neat pile. Not to mention that he’d cleaned the folding tables that had been sticky as suspicious from one too many spilled beers for as long as Joey could remember.   
  
“You ever seen him move that fast?” Maddy whispered into Joey’s ear, watching with amusement as Pratt picked up a single leaf and placed it into the pile.  
  
Joey shook her head and snorted, “Nah, although that one time you brought ice cream cake for my birthday was pretty close.”   
  
People had started showing up as soon as everything was set up on a normal day Pratt would be happy about this, the sooner people showed up the sooner it was acceptable to drink himself stupid and kick them all out of his house. People being Whitehorse and Nancy.  Today anxiety coursed through his veins, as plentiful as his own blood.   
  
Whitehorse brought the meat and his seasoning belt, something Joey had gotten him as a semi serious christmas gift after she’d discovered his dad-like affinity for the grill. He had dressed appropriately casual; in khaki shorts, socks and sandals, a muted hawaiian button up, all topped off with a ‘LICENSED TO GRILL’ apron.   
  
Nancy brought her shitty dry cookies that she always made.  
  
When he invited people he said six, but everyone knew six meant more like seven. Everyone but Carson apparently, who showed up a ten minutes after six bearing a tin of baked Macaroni and Cheese, that she’d poured her heart into, in one hand and a to go cup of coffee in the other.   
  
Maddy and Joey saw her first, because Pratt was inside deciding to make a last minute ‘fresh’ salad, as if salad wasn’t meant to be fresh in the first place. Maddy waved her over to the bench, Carson stopping by to drop off the macaroni on the food table before coming onto the porch and leaning on the rail.  
  
The curly haired girl squinted at the cup in Carson’s hand, “Carleen?” She raised an eyebrow at her fellow Deputy, her face wrinkled in confusion.  
  
Carson shrugged and took another sip of the drink “I corrected her twice. I think she just fuckin’ liked it better.” She winced, thinking back to how she’d politely corrected the woman only to have the woman shoo her away with an ‘Oh, no, honey, Carson is a _boys_ name!’  
  
Joey snickered and nodded in understanding, “They always write Josephine on mine.” She squeezed her wife tighter to her side when she heard Maddy mumble something about ‘small town problems’. The wrong name on their coffee cups was hardly the worst ‘small town problem’ they’d endured.  
  
“Guys! Help me clean, this place is a fuckin’ mess. When do you think Cars-” Staci shouted from inside the house as he made his way onto the porch, stopping when he saw a smirking Carson standing by the door. “You’re early.” His voice came out in that weird squeaky pitch again, the pitch that only seemed to happen around the newest team member.  
  
Joey and Maddy watched with wide eyes, watching the trainwreck slowly unfold, it was so bad it was hard to look away.  
  
“You said six.” She replied with a shrug, watching as he squirmed under her gaze.  
  
Staci Pratt had a garbage brain when it came to Carson, with every other woman he could spit game like there was no tomorrow, but with Carson everything turned to mush. Which is why he said what he said next. “I didn’t mean it.”   
  
When a quick look of hurt flashed across her face before a hardened mask replaced it, more guarded than he’d ever seen her before, he immediately panicked and backtracked. “No, no I did mean it! I want you here but not no-Well yeah, now just not now, now-”   
  
He cut off his rambling when Joey cleared her throat, louder than needed, and made a cutting motion on her neck. Staci resolved to staring at the ground in defeat, looking at the cowboy boots he’d cleaned up for today, hoping that Carson would notice because everytime he wore them she made jokes about him being a little cowboy.   
  
It was going to be a long night.  
  
The only way they made it through the next hour while waiting for the rest of the office was because Whitehorse had watched the entire thing go down and invited Carson over to learn about his secret seasoning techniques.   
  
When dusk finally rolled around and the last person showed up, the mechanic dude that fixed their patrol cars and sometimes hit on Joey, the party finally got started. Most parties were gradually worked up to, but when officers partied they partied hard and when rednecks partied they partied hard. Combine them and you have a few people on the brink of death by the end of the night. Luckily, both Maddy and Carson had IVs in their trunks, waiting for some poor S.O.B to collapse.   
  
The group sat around a low fire, picking at the remnants of food on their plates, all of them too tired to eat more but not wanting to quit yet.  For the most part they’d spent dinner getting to know Carson and catching her up on the office inside jokes. Though, she and Maddy had spent the better part of an hour discussing their favorite medical fails.   
  
Carson’s had been the time a guy walked into her tent with a broken ankle, asked her to fix it, then leaned over and cracked a beer on her side table.  
  
Maddy’s was when she’d asked a patient if he was on any drugs and his response had been ‘hell yeah I am!’ then launched into a poor rendition of ‘I Hate Being Sober’ by Chief Keef only to knock out halfway through the chorus.  
  
“Hey, Carson,” The glee in Joey’s voice was suspicious, “Let’s play a round of beer pong!” She cheered, her eyes alight as she gestured towards the table where the cups sat stacked on the edge, waiting to be set up and waiting to have beer poured into them. There was a devious look on her face leaving Carson to wonder exactly what playing beer pong entailed.  
  
There were collective groans from all around, from everyone but Carson who looked around confused. “What? What’s wrong with that?”   
  
“Joey and Maddy are unstoppable together, it’s awful.” Pratt whispered, albeit louder than a traditional whisper, in her ear. Two beers had taken the edge off and brought him from energizer bunny levels of nervous to his usual nervous.   
  
“Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Sweet lil’ Maddy-Ann can play beer pong?” She didn’t get a chance to finish before Carson interrupted with a snort. “What?”  
  
“Actually, I was thinkin’ how I’m gonna kick your ass.” A chorus of ooh’s surrounded them as if Carson had said the sickest burn the entire sixth grade had ever heard.   
  
The woman gawked at her like a fish for a few minutes before Joey took the ropes. “Those are fightin’ words.” She drawled, in an accent that Carson could only assume came after at least three beers.  
  
“C’mon, Pratt, you’ll be my partner right? We’ll kick their asses together.” She elbowed him in a joking manner, missing the way his eyes widened and his palms became sweaty at the contact. There was a collective laugh around the firepit. “What now?” Being the newbie left her out on a lot, but she didn’t mind it wasn’t the worst thing ever.  
  
“Pratt is notoriously bad at beer pong.” Maddy explained giggling as she leaned onto her wife, one too many margarita pops in her system.  
  
Whitehorse spoke up next, “Boy’s trolled more times than I can count.” He nodded in Pratt’s direction with a wide grin. Staci would usually avoid beer pong, because of his reputation nobody wanted him on their team and he didn’t want to disgrace anyone by being on their team.  
  
“Dilly Dilly.” Joey mumbled holding up her one beer for the evening as she seconded what Earl had said.  
  
Carson ignored the usage of the phrase and rolled her eyes, shaking her head dismissively as she did so. “Nah, I’m not buying it. He can’t be that fuckin’ bad.”   
  
She soon learned that he was in fact that bad.  
  
When Carson saw Maddy and Joey expertly setting the cups up laying them out faster than she’d thought possible, each of them holding and juggling two beers in each hand, pouring perfect estimates she felt like she was being cheated. When she saw the fearless way Maddy poured the last remainders of a can of PBR and a can of Bud Light into one cup she knew she had fucked up.  
  
A high pitched whine left her mouth, one she hadn’t known herself capable of as Staci missed for the third time in a row. “Pick up the slack, for fucks sake.” The three cups they’d taken from Maddy and Joey were all from her, the closet Pratt had gotten was when he hit Maddy in the eye.  
  
She’d worked her ass off getting five cups, Pratt had gotten none. Maddy and Joey only had three left, smug smiles on their faces as Maddy held her balls out for Joey to blow on. Joey’s arm around Maddy’s waist kept her upright as she swayed in her spot, Maddy had been drinking for both of them and it was starting to show. “Can we get a stoplight?”   
  
Carson begrudgingly moved the cups into a line, glaring at the girls across from her, both of them looking completely relaxed as if they knew they’d already won. It wasn’t her fault that she was best at bounce shots and Maddy was ridiculously skilled at smacking them away, or that half her balls spun around the rim only to have Joey scoop them out and proclaim ‘Gays finger, bitches blow.’  
  
Pratt had told her the saying was actually ‘Guys finger, bitches blow’ to which Joey had given him a finger.  
  
There of course was no shot at redemption for team Carson and Pratt, which Maddy had decided to name Team Carp, though that didn’t stop him from trying. On the final shot Maddy bounced it, the ball heading straight for the cup. What came next seemed to happen in slow motion.  
  
Staci dove for the ball, intending to smack it out of the way and save them, be the suave hero he wanted Carson to think he was. Faraway shouts of Carson telling him to stop fell on deaf ears as his entire body plummeted towards the table, he’d taken care to calculate the shot only to remember too late that he was awful at math. Maddy and Joey celebrated their victory the second they saw Pratt leap for the ball, both of them jumping and squealing in each others arms, watching his fall from grace.   
  
He landed on the table, swatting the cup instead of the ball, the contents of it spilling onto Carson as his body landed on the table, causing it to collapse. When things started happening at a regular speed he was aware of laughter from all around and a hand reaching out to help him up.  
  
He expected Carson to tell him how disappointed she was, that she would never choose him again instead she was chuckling and looking at him with a soft expression. She said something about how he should come with a warning label, the exact words lost on him as he stared at her in awe.   
  
Next thing he knew Carson was begging Whitehorse to be on her team, to everyone’s surprise he agreed. Pratt didn’t mind having to troll under the table, mostly because Carson shot him wide grins and murmured trash talk to him under the table. Though he couldn’t see what was going on, judging from the appalled noises around the crowd Maddy and Joey were being disgraced.   
  
“What happened?” He whispered up to Carson, poking his head under the table.  
  
She looked at him, her eyes lit up with excitement, nobody should look that good from such an ugly angle he thought. “Whitehorse killed it in the eye to eye.” A chorus of cheers sounded and he watched as Whitehorse took a few steps back, holding out his arms in a ‘what are you gonna do?’ gesture.  
  
Something that impressed him about his friends relationship was that no matter how taxing things got they never turned on each other, party games were notorious for making good friends enemies and straining relationships. Even as Maddy and Joey got their asses handed to them they were still as lovey-dovey as ever.   
  
From under the table he had too good of a view of how every time Maddy bent down to grab a ball Joey would smack her ass and how every time Joey made a shot Maddy would wrap her arm around her waist and squeeze her thigh. It was disgusting in a sickeningly cute way and he wished he had it.   
  
Even as they lost, with the sound of everyone losing their shit as Earl seemed to make an impossible shot they hugged each other. The end of that round meant his time trolling was over, right as he was about to crawl out himself Carson’s face appeared before him, offering him a hand.   
  
“You up for rage cage?” She asked as she helped pull him off the ground, his knees creaking as he stood up straight. “Or are you shit at anything involving balls?” He almost choked.  
  
They collectively decided that the punishment for losing would be shotgunning a beer, leaving Staci to pray that somebody else had it worse off than him because shotgunning made him nauseous.  
  
It took all of ten minutes for the rage cage adventure to turn spiteful, as people refused to hand over balls and resorted to punching cups away from other people. Whitehorse and Nancy had agreed to play, even their county mechanic getting in on the action. Nancy hated every second of it while Earl dripped perspiration from trying to hard.   
  
Sometimes he slowed down and missed shots on purpose, saving Carson from having to drink, he’d never admit it though. When there was one cup left and it was between him and Whitehorse he managed to get it first try, only because of Carson screaming encouraging words into his ear.   
  
He passed the cup to Maddy who then stacked Whitehorse, who was a little drunk, his hat sitting on his head at a sideways angle. When handed the beer he’d asked what his actual punishment was, citing that another beer was hardly a punishment. Joey offered him a knife and Maddy offered him a key, instead he shoved his thumb through the can and proceeded to shotgun the beer in a few seconds with more grace than anyone had expected.   
  
The entire time Carson stayed close to him, when Whitehorse lost she pounced on him, wrapping her arms around him and forcing him to jump with her as she shouted in his ear about how awesome that had been. She kept one arm around his shoulders as she cheered Whitehorse on when he chugged, Staci felt warm wherever she touched him.   
  
“I have an idea.” She announced, still holding onto him. The others looked at her expectantly, waiting for this idea. By her tone they could tell it would be good. “Tequila shots.”   
  
“Cook, you’re fucking brilliant.” Maddy said awe ringing in her voice, she may have intended it as a whisper but it came out at a normal volume. “Love her.” She whispered to her future wife. To which Joey snorted and hugged her wife closer, adoring how awestruck she got by everything when she got buzzed.   
  
Tequila shots went about as well as expected, Joey poured them mumbling to herself something about fours as she did so. At one point Maddy tried to convince Joey to let her do a body shot off of her, to which Joey had told her that there was no chance in hell. “Maddy-Ann if you think for one minute I’m letting you drink tequila out of my belly button in front of creepy mechanic guy you’re insane.” She’d said, and that was that.  
  
Carson may or may not have promised that one day Maddy could do a body shot off of her, to which Pratt had choked on his drink and needed a few hard pats on the back.   
  
As the shots went down and the bottle emptied everyone became  a little bit more cozy, Carson snuggling into Pratt’s side and whispering commentary, Maddy sitting on Joey’s lap with her head on her shoulder mumbling about how she was going to cuddle her so damn hard when they got home. Carson asked Staci if there was anything that normally happened at these that hadn’t happened yet and it hit him.   
  
“Maddy!” He shouted, a little too loud, scaring everyone in the group. “The watermelon!” He didn’t bother explaining, everyone knew what the watermelon was and it wasn’t truly a party until the party melon came out.   
  
“The watermelon!” Maddy repeated, her tone only comparable to someone who had forgotten something very important, throwing her hands up in the air so fast she threw herself off balance and almost fell off Joey’s lap. After steadying herself she scrambled to a standing position and yanked Joey to her feet before hauling ass towards the house. When she emerged she was in shorts, carefully holding a watermelon as if it was the most precious gift she’d ever received.  
  
Carson wondered a number of things as she watched Joey help Mady sit on the ground, mostly she wondered why the party melon required a change of outfits.   
  
“Are you ready?” Pratt said it in a cheesy wrestlemania announcer voice, nudging her with his elbow as he did so.  
  
“Dilly Dilly!” Was the only reply, Carson chiming in, raising her almost empty last beer of the night. The can was a little smushed from earlier when Pratt had shouted, the sudden noise scaring her more than she cared to admit.  
  
Maddy positioned the watermelon between her thighs, getting it right up in there before crossing her ankles and nodding to Staci, giving him an excited thumbs up. The group shouted a count down and on three Maddy braced herself on her forearms and squeezed her thighs together, bronzed muscles bulging as wet cracking noises came from the watermelon. It exploded with a strange squelching noise, everyone lost their shit cheering, Carson wrapping her arms around Pratt as a first instinct, shaking him with excitement. The only person who didn’t look amused was Nancy, who looked miserable and like she regretted ever leaving the house.  
  
“Holy fuckin’ shit dude!” The words were too loud in his ear, though he didn’t care, her enthusiasm a palpable presence in the air.   
  
Joey approached them, keeping an eye on her love who had flopped back on the ground and was watching the stars. “I think it’s time for us to head out.” She said a soft smile on her face as she watched Maddy force Whitehorse to listen to her ramble about Joey’s favorite constellations.   
  
The watermelon crushing opened all kinds of doors and questions that the newest deputy wasn’t sure she wanted answered. “Wait, first,” Carson started, only to look horrified at herself halfway through as if she realized too late that the words about to come out of her mouth were highly inappropriate.   
  
“People like choking right? Knowing that the other person has that kind of power is hot or somethin’. Same thing.” The answer was well rehearsed and said with such casualty that it became obvious Joey frequently got that question. Her only reply was an understanding nod and an enthusiastic send off as Carson yanked her into a hug and squeezed her goodbye, Staci gave her an awkward side hug and told her he’d see her tomorrow for their shift together.   
  
Joey moved to collect Maddy, leaning down to help her to her feet, only to pause her motions as her bride-to-be grabbed her face and began peppering her cheeks in kisses, mumbling about how she was the most blessed person in the galaxy. With some awkward shuffling Joey managed to get her to her feet, before gently tossing her over her shoulder, causing Maddy to let out a delighted squeal.  
  
“Bye guys!” She shouted as she moved towards her truck, a chorus of goodbye’s following her.  
  
Maddy gave the crowd a thumbs up as she hung limp over Joey’s shoulder, her eyes landing on how snuggly Carson and Pratt were. Instead of using her words she wiggled with excitement, letting Joey know that she had something to say later. Once Joey had set her into the bench seat of the truck, with such tender motions it made Maddy want to cry, and was putting her seatbelt on she spoke up, “Carson and Staci are cute.”   
  
Joey chuckled and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Yeah, they are.”   
  
“We did good?”   
  
“We did good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I eat feedback.


	3. Third Date(NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey and Maddy have their third date and Maddy realizes that there's something Joey's never done that she's more than happy to help with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's smut.
> 
> Joey gets her pussy ate like she deserves. That's it.

It’s their third date, they’re sitting on the tailgate of Joey’s beat up truck eating some food from The Grill Steak. They’re at some overlook up in the Whitetails, nothing but forest and river below them, the moon shimmers on the water and the food tastes delicious. It’s a perfect date so far.   
  
Joey has a bit of barbecue sauce dribbling down her chin and Maddy has to resist the urge to lick it off. She’s never connected with anyone like she’s connected with Joey and it drives her insane. She’s never believed in all those lesbian stereotypes before, but she’s five minutes away from hiring a moving company and buying a ring, and if she’s reading Joey’s vibes right, Joey is too.    
  
Or she was.    
  
Until of course, Maddy ruined the little questions game they were playing by asking something dumb.    
  
‘When did you lose your virginity?’ The words had flown from her mouth before she’d even had time to properly think about them. Maybe it was the horny young adult male in her--’what’s your bra size?’--everyone had at least a little bit of that inside of them.    
  
Joey had gone silent, staring at the empty wrapper of her food like it could answer all her questions or swallow her whole.   
  
Maddy felt like an ass, Joey wasn’t even out yet. It was a sensitive topic, she knew it was. But her brain and mouth had apparently forgotten how to communicate and now all future plans of moving companies and white dresses--or maybe suits--were ruined.    
  
“Sorry.”    
  
It feels empty, hollow, but it’s all she can think to say. Her brain and mouth are now better in sync, and she recognizes that anything else she says might just make it worse, and she really doesn’t want to make it worse.   
  
Her companion sighs heavily, shakes her head like she’s just finished arguing with herself. “No, it’s-it’s fine.”    
  
“It was stupid forget it.”   
  
“I haven’t I guess.”   
  
She pauses, on some level, she knew that. But hearing it confirmed is something else.    
  
“Really?” And they were back out of sync again.    
  
Maddy winces, wishing she could go back in time and smack a gag in her mouth or something.    
  
Joey shrugs, not meeting her eyes. “There was a girl in Missoula but it was never that serious. Just-ah,” She stops to scratch the back of her head, stumbling over her wording, “nothing that serious.”   
  
How stereotypical, Joey had gone to college part-time in Missoula pursuing a Criminal Justice degree, her only gay experiences had been college fumblings. It somehow makes Maddy feel even worse.   
  
She’s about to apologize again when Joey continues.   
  
“She was curious, just curious. I was head over heels.” She shrugs again, a nervous habit maybe. “It never went past a few awkward fumblings.” Joey takes a swig of her lemonade, still looking away from Maddy.    
  
“So, you’ve only ever been fingerblasted?”   
  
_ Mouth.   
  
Brain. _   
  
The lemonade comes out of Joey’s mouth and her nose, synced up better than Maddy’s brain and mouth could ever hope to be.    
  
_ Shut.   
  
Up.   
_   
Joey coughs and sputters and all Maddy can do is sympathetically pat her on her back. Then the coughing turns into laughing, and she isn’t quite sure what to do.   
  
“Yeah, yeah I guess.” Her voice is raspy from the choking and Maddy’s ears grow warm, she’s such an idiot.    
  
“Sorry, that was.” She can’t find words other than sorry.   
  
Her date shakes her head, still chuckling to herself. “No, that was great--you’re great.”    
  
A snort escapes her, she’s far from great. She’s just put her thumb so far up her ass she isn’t sure if she’ll ever be able to get it out. But Joey is grinning at her, a shy flash of teeth with a look in her eyes like Maddy’s hung the moon.    
  
There’s an awkward silence, where Joey is still clearing her throat and snorting to herself and Maddy is trying to will herself to turn to dust to be caught by the breeze and taken anywhere but here.   
  
She’s not good with silences, God she wishes she was.   
  
“So, you’ve never had someone go down on you?”    
  
_ Brain.   
  
Mouth. _   
  
Joey stares at her for a long minute, a grandfather clock ticking in the back of Maddy’s head, before shaking her head and picking up her lemonade again. This time she doesn’t drink it but instead swirls it around in the Styrofoam cup, keeping her hands busy.    
  
“No, guess not.”   
  
“Would you like to?”   
  
Joey’s jaw drops, eyes wide and cheeks heated at the suggestion. Thank God she hadn’t taken another drink of the lemonade, unlike Maddy she can learn from her mistakes.   
  
“Are you-?”   
  
_ Serious. _   
  
The word hangs between them.    
  
She looks confused, hesitant, and almost-- _hopeful_?    
  
Maddy’s stomach flutters at the implication. She keeps forgetting that this is all new to Joey, completely uncharted territory. Joey doesn’t know how to be gay, hasn’t quite found out how to be herself.    
  
As she chews her lip, Maddy realizes that she’s perfectly okay with helping Joey find out. The barbecue sauce is still on her chin and the urge to lick it off comes back with a vengeance.    
  
She was serious, so serious she has to cross her thighs at the thought of it.   
  
“Well, it is our third date.”    
  
Now she just looks confused, brows furrowing, her head taking on a curious tilt as she tries to decipher the meaning of that. Right, Joey doesn’t even have cable or Netflix. She’s likely never heard of that stupid dating rule.   
  
Then realization dawns on Joey’s face and that hopeful look is back. “You’re right, it is.” Her words are hesitant like she’s afraid of scaring Maddy away, completely unaware that Maddy’s mind is racing with thoughts of Joey panting and crying out beneath her.    
  
With a jerky movement and a clean swipe of Maddy’s tongue, the barbecue sauce is gone from Joey’s chin. Their lips collide and their tongues tangle. The kiss tastes like Chad’s homemade sauce and heaven, though arguably those could be the same thing. Her hand fists into Joey’s hair--worn loose for once because Maddy had mentioned that she liked Joey’s hair down--and the girl groans into the kiss.    
  
Breathlessly they pull away from each other, eyes lingering on the other's lips as they attempt to catch their breath.    
  
“You had sauce,” Maddy explains, licking her lips as she continues to stare at Joey’s.    
  
Joey doesn’t reply, just grabs onto Maddy’s sweater and pulls her closer until their lips connect again. It’s tender and aggressive, passionate and delicate all at once. Maddy doesn’t want to scare her, doesn’t want this to end, but craves her. Joey is much the same, afraid of ruining this, but recklessly charging ahead and hoping for the best.   
  
For someone who has little experience Joey sure knows how to kiss, the press of her lips against Maddy’s has her mind dizzied and her heart tied in a knot. Three dates in and this is their first time kissing, they’ve held hands once before but nothing like this. For lack of a better word, it’s intoxicating and Maddy isn’t sure she’ll ever get enough of Joey.    
  
She has to make up for lost time, two prior dates and the numerous times they’ve run into each other out on the town--it’s a small town. All time wasted not kissing Joey.   
  
Joey has never had a kiss like this, with the girl from college she thought had experienced the best of the best, at one point even thought it was love. But kissing Maddy is a whole new world. Her gay chakras have aligned and she’s seen the light. Is three dates too soon to call it love?    
  
However, all good things must come to an end and they need air, so they reluctantly pull apart, a trail of spit glistening in the moonlight. Normally, Maddy finds spit to be repulsive, but at that moment in time Joey could spit on her, hell, even in her mouth and she’d thank her. But that’s something to unpack another time.    
  
“My place isn’t far.” Joey’s voice is husky and Maddy shivers at the thought of Joey saying her name in that same voice.   
  
“Too far.” She’s being petulant, and she knows it but the thought of having to last the entire ten-minute drive back to Joey’s is agony. “We could just-” Her sentences trails off into what’s almost a question, her eyebrows waggling in suggestion as she eyes the truck bed.    
  
Joey snorts but she doesn’t look completely opposed, her eyes flicking to the truck bed before going back to Maddy’s face. “You do remember that I’m a cop right?”    
  
“And?”   
  
“We’re in public.” She doesn’t even sound like she’s trying to convince herself.   
  
“And?”   
  
“I’m a _cop_.” Her hand finds a place on Maddy’s thigh causing a delightful shiver to run through the freckled girl despite the unusual warmth of the night.    
  
“And?”   
  
“Someone could see us.” Joey’s hand squeezes her thigh, her voice getting back into that husky tone as she leans into Maddy. They’re very nearly kissing again, lips hovering so close they can almost feel each other.   
  
“Fuck it.” With that Joey closes the distance once more, both hands grabbing onto Maddy’s thighs and pulling the girl onto her lap.   
  
A quick squeal escapes from Maddy before being swallowed by Joey. The kiss is messy and urgent, Maddy’s hands tangling in Joey’s hair as Joey slides a hand up her sweater. She nips at Joey’s lip, tongue darting out to soothe before venturing into her mouth.    
  
The hand leaves her back and returns to gripping her thigh, leverage as Joey awkwardly shuffles them further back onto the truck bed. She whines as Maddy pulls away, yanking her sweater over her head and shoving it behind Joey before connecting their lips once again.    
  
Gently she pushes Joey back, laying her against the sweater turned pillow. Her lips migrate down, pressing sloppy kisses to her neck, nipping at the exposed column of her throat. A hand shimmies up Joey’s flannel, hesitantly cupping her breast, thumb swiping over a covered nipple.   
  
It’s thrilling to Joey, doing something like this in public. She’s not out yet, but this pushes that. She might not be out but she’s kissing a girl in public, nobody is around but she’s being gay in public. Her breath hitched in her throat, maybe because Maddy had just shoved her bra up and the breeze hit her bare chest or maybe because they could be caught and she almost doesn’t care.    
  
She feels high.   
  
“Wait, wait, wait.” Maddy pulls away, leaving Joey vulnerable--exposed--ready to fall.   
  
“What?” Her throat is sore, had she been mouth breathing that entire time?   
  
“This isn’t right.” She sits up, reading to scoot off of Joey’s lap.    
  
Her heart plummets.   
  
“This is your first time, I shouldn’t be copping a feel on a truck bed there should be candles and wine, Marvin Gaye maybe-” She’s rambling, attempting to run a hand through her messy curls.   
  
That’s it?   
  
“Shut up.” Joey fists her hand into the girls tank-top, pulling her back down onto her.    
  
Their lips connect and Maddy mumbles protests. It’s sweet that she’s so worried about Joey’s comfort, but in this moment there is nothing Joey wants more than Maddy between her thighs.   
  
“Shut up. My first time, my choice.”    
  
Well, how can Maddy argue with that?   
  
She pulls away, searches Joey’s eyes for something, she isn’t sure what she’s looking for but she finds it. Reassured she scoots lower, pressing a wet kiss in between Joey’s breasts, one hand moving to cup one breast while her mouth moves to cover the other.    
  
Maddy presses another kiss to her skin, but this time to the sensitive flesh of her nipple before pulling away. Joey squirms as the breeze cools the saliva, then gasps as the warmth of Maddy’s mouth captures the sensitive bud once more. Her teeth ever so gently graze the soft skin, feather-light in their attention as her hand squeezes the breast her mouth can’t cover.    
  
The most attention her breasts have ever gotten was a quick tweak of the nipple, nothing more. But Maddy has her lips wrapped around her nipple, tongue tracing the peak in slow motions that have Joey squirming in anticipation.    
  
She can feel Maddy’s hand on her belt, fumbling with the obnoxiously oversized belt buckle. Somehow, maybe there’s an angel out the rooting for Joey to get her pussy eaten, Maddy undoes the belt with one hand.   
  
Not pausing for even a moment to celebrate her victory, which Joey has learned is not like Maddy at all, she moves her attentions to lavish Joey’s other nipple.  When she pulls away Joey lets out a whine, pouting as Maddy scoots down her lap until she’s sitting on Joey’s thighs.   
  
The look on Maddy’s face is one of pure determination as she undoes Joey’s pants, it’s kind of cute how her eyebrows furrow and her tongue pokes out of the side of her mouth. Without prompting Joey lifts her hips, allowing Maddy to shimmy the jeans part way down her legs. It takes her a moment to realize that she’ll have to climb off of Joey to get her pants all the way off.   
  
When she does realize it, it’s with a huff and a frown, now she’s the one pouting. She clambers off joey just long enough to get her pants around her ankles and then wiggle herself back between Joey’s legs, a leg on each shoulder. It’s awkward, but Joey approves. If someone drives by at least she’ll have her pants halfway on and she won’t have to hunt for them.   
  
For a minute she feels self-conscious about her simple blue briefs, but then Maddy presses a kiss to her thigh and she doesn’t have the brain power to think about anything else other than the girl between her legs.    
  
A finger traces over her clothed mound and she lets out a surprised whine, unable to keep her hips from wiggling. “Shit, you’re really wet.” Maddy mumbles, a throaty chuckle escapes her lips and Joey can’t stop the goosebumps that erupt over her skin.    
  
The clever reply she had dies on her lips as Maddy looks at her, lids heavy with a devilish look shining in her eyes. All Joey can do is chew on her lip as Maddy ghosts her lips over her covered pussy. She wants to watch it all but she gives in to temptation and lets her head loll back onto the sweater.   
  
Her legs tense when Maddy pulls her underwear to the side and she feels the cool breeze. She feels exposed, and she quite literally is exposed. They’re on the side of the road in a truck bed, anyone could drive by. Then the cold is replaced by Maddy’s hot breath and then by her tongue.    
  
Joey doesn’t know how to describe the feeling, but as she tries to come up with words Maddy does it again. Her tongue licking Joey in a broad stripe, a hand tracing soothing circles on her thigh. She hadn’t realized how tense she was until Maddy whispers a soft ‘relax’ against her before sliding her tongue through her folds.    
  
She’s almost embarrassed at how loud she’s undoubtedly being Maddy has barely touched her and her skins already on fire. Her legs shake with anticipation as Maddy began to tongue fuck her, slow and languidly at first. Then more earnestly, nose rubbing against her clit as she tried to taste every available inch of Joey’s cunt.    
  
Fingers replace her tongue, two pumping gently in and out as she focuses her attention on her clit. She kisses her clit like she’d kissed Joey earlier wet, messy, and desperate.    
  
She calls Maddy’s name or rather moans it and she swears she can feel the girl smile against her. Her fingers curve up ever so slightly and Joey feels a pressure building, then her thumb joins her tongue and she feels herself reach a peak.   
  
But her orgasm doesn’t come, she’s sitting on the edge with her ass out ready to fall. But it doesn’t come.    
  
One look into Maddy’s eyes and she knows the girl is doing it on purpose, her pupils are blown to hell but there’s still a mischievous spark there. She keeps the same pace, never varying, never giving Joey that little push she needs.   
  
“You.” It was meant to be accusing but Maddy does something with her fingers that cuts the sentence short with a gasp.   
  
Unwilling to pull away she hums around Joey in response, the humming does something fantastic, sending tingles down Joey’s spine.   
  
“Maddy,” Joey is fully ready to beg, to set aside any ounce of pride she may have left and beg for the girl to let her come.    
  
But she doesn’t have to, at the sound of her name spilling from Joey’s lips Maddy picks up the pace.   
  
If Joey thought it was good before then this is fucking fantastic. Her fingers are everywhere, pumping into Joey so fast it seems like she’s vibrating. Where her fingers aren’t her tongue is, licking until Joey feels her legs spasm. Over the sound of her own moans and incomprehensible babble, she can almost hear the sound of her own wetness as Maddy furiously finger fucks her and teaches her the true meaning of being finger blasted.   
  
The girl is _Gifted_ , with a capital G.    
  
Her orgasm isn’t one of those explosions, it creeps over her entire body until every inch of her is on fire. She’s no longer dangling over the edge, she’s plummeting. For a moment she blacks out, legs tightening around Maddy’s head and locking the girl in place.   
  
Maddy guides her through it, slowing her motions as Joey turns to goo.    
  
She’s still shaking as Maddy pulls away and rights her underwear, her breath coming out in little pants as she struggles to find words.   
  
“Good for you too?” Maddy’s chin is dripping with Joey’s wetness, the moonlight reflecting off of it as she grins smugly.   
  
“Fuck. You.”    
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback,,,,,,,,please


	4. picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of a war that nobody can win Maddy finds time to have a picnic with her wife, it's a perfect retreat from the world around them, or it would be if the stench of bliss didn't make her eyes water and her nose sting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0 this has been written for so long and i never posted it

Sitting on a blanket in a field of flowers with her wife’s head on her lap feels suspiciously like the Eden Joseph always prattles on about. It’s as if these last few months have all been a bad dream, it’s almost like she never had to hear Joey’s screams over the radio, like she never lost her wife to the Eden’s Gate.   
  
If this is a dream she’ll take it, because it’s the best she’s had since this all started. She leans down and buries her face in her Joey’s hair, inhaling the scent of that shampoo Joey uses because she knows Maddy loves the smell. It’s perfect.   
  
Or it would be if there wasn’t a green tint to everything and if the scent of the shampoo wasn’t tainted by that burned sugar smell she’s come to associate with bliss. But she decides to ignore these things and enjoy the moment while it lasts, continuing to stroke her loves hair as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. Even if something about this is wrong, even if it’s fake, she’s going to hold her wife until she’s pried from her fingers.   
  
Like in the Helicopter. Images of Peggies dragging a kicking and screaming Joey from the fiery wreckage of the helicopter flash behind her eyes, her hand reaches out to grab at her boot in a feeble attempt to keep her safe. Maddy’s hand slips and her wife is gone, she’s left to fumble with the seat belt with tears burning in her eyes as she fights to free herself so she can save her love.    
  
She’s choking on the memory of the smoke, her body tense as she tightens her fingers in Joey’s hair. The feeling of calloused hands tracing her jaw brings her back to the present, Joey is looking up at her with worry in her soft brown eyes. Her fingers trace over Maddy’s lips, lovingly coaxing them open.    
  
The cheese Joey gently places in her mouth tastes like some piss poor imitation of pepper jack but even that can’t soil the high she’s on. A large hand cups her cheek, she feels whole for the first time in months, this is where she belongs. Not hiding out in some prepper stash with the sound of Jacob’s dogs demanding blood above her.    
  
“Stay with me.” Joey’s voice is breathy, a sound she’s only used to hearing when they’re making love. It rings false, only serving to remind her how wrong this all is.    
  
“Always.” She whispers, softly scratching Joey’s scalp while her other hand trails over her wife’s cheek in a desperate attempt to map out every plane of her face. She can’t allow herself to forget a single detail, her finger catching in the cleft of her chin. She’s afraid that if she closes her eyes this will all disappear when she opens them again.   
  
The smile that twists on Joey’s face makes her heart clench, the smile rings false but it brings up memories of times when it wasn’t.    
  
“We could be so happy.” Her voice still has that odd breathy cadence to it.    
  
“We were.”    
  
The day after they arrested Joseph Seed they were set to catch a flight to Greece for their week long honeymoon, a vacation they’d spent a year saving for. The Seed’s had taken everything from her, they’d burned down her home and ruined any semblance of a normal future she could have had with her love.    
  
They weren’t going to take her wife from her too.   
  
“Stay with me.”   
  
Maddy closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, a tear running down her cheek as she tries to wake herself up, to force this imitation of Joey from her arms. She doesn’t know if Joey is alive but she still holds out hope, she won’t allow them to taint the image of her wife like this. She won’t let them use her as some kind of pawn.    
  
“I can’t.” Her hands trail through her wife’s silken locks one more time, she feels the weight in her lap slowly lighten and suddenly there isn’t any hair between her fingers.    
  
This is a new kind of nightmare, one hand crafted by the youngest Seed, a troubled young girl she and Joey had tried so hard to keep from behind bars. They’d fed her and bought her shoes when her last pair finally kicked the bucket. They’d let her sleep on their uncomfortable pull out when she was sweating through withdrawals, only to fill out her arrest paperwork a week later.    
  
Back when she was still Rachel, before she became this husk of the Seed’s creation.   
  
A muffled sob escapes her as she keeps her eyes closed, willing this nightmare to be over. The burning sugar smell of bliss overwhelms her as a too small, too soft hand sits on her shoulder. “Join us.” Faith’s voice rings like tinkling bells, soft, gentle and fake.    
  
Maddy flinches as if the hand has burned her, but the hand persists, pressing into her shoulder and keeping her in place. It’s too small, too soft. “You could be so happy.” The blonde sounds like she believes it.   
  
“We will be.” Her voice comes out strong, stronger than she feels. Her eyes open and she levels a glare over her shoulder, making eye contact with the girl they’d tried so hard to save. One look in her eyes and she knows that Faith does believe it, that she thinks this is actually for the best.   
  
Somehow Faith believes she’s saving Maddy, just like Maddy and Joey tried to save her. A fire burns in the pit of her stomach, the remains of the helicopter flash behind her eyes. She will save Joey, she will save Staci and Whitehorse and all of Hope County. She won’t fail them like she failed Rachel.   
  
“When we burn Eden’s Gate to the ground, we will be.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) you know what i like

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback gives me life! :)


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